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Breaking it to the Kids That You Are Breaking Up
Divorce is difficult. Divorce with kids is even more so. How you tell your kids that you and your spouse are getting divorced will have a lasting impact on both how they accept the news and your future relationship with them, independently and together. Presenting a unified front—even if you and your soon-to-be-ex are pretending to be united—is essential. In addition, there are several other things you can do to ease your child into the news of your separation.
The first is to ensure that all your planning about the future has been laid out. This means speaking with a family law attorney to determine custody and visitation arrangements. You should also have a schedule arranged, so that the child is well aware of what his new daily life will be like. According to Psychology Today, children—especially young children—do not deal well with change or transition. Children rely exclusively on adults to help them understand and make sense of the world around them; a sudden upheaval, such as divorce or separation, can throw their world into chaos.
When an Order of Protection Is Abused
An order of protection is a serious legal tool used for people who are in abusive relationships, invoked to keep the abuser away and ensure the safety of a family at risk. It is meant to provide a level of security in potentially dangerous cirumstances.
A petition for an order of protection can be filed against any family or household member who has committed acts of domestic violence against you or your minor child. Any high-risk adult with disabilities may file a petition for an order of protection against his or her caretaker who has abused, neglected, or exploited him or her. If a person is living or employed in a private caretaking facility in which he or she has been neglected or abused, he or she is also eligible to file an order of protection.
Paternity Testing in Kane County
Establishing paternity of a child is important for several reasons, both emotional and financial. The most obvious financial reason to prove a child’s paternity is to qualify for court-ordered child support payments. In most cases, without proof of paternity a court will not be obliged to require child support payments. According to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office, once paternity is established, a child has legal recourse and rights. Among these are insurance benefits, veteran benefits, and social security benefits, when applicable. Without proof of paternity, a child may not be able to qualify for half of the state-sponsored money to which he is entitled.
There are also health reasons that a family would want to prove paternity of a child, according to state officials. Among these is the family’s ability to access health records that can reveal genetic dispositions to certain diseases or conditions. Without a paternity test, doctors may miss crucial information to treat and take care of patients.
Coping Strategies for Dealing with Divorce
Getting a Divorce is never an easy process. Contested divorces, in particular, can be stressful and emotionally demanding. Disputes often arise when spouses cannot agree on property division, child custody, or child support. Another common hurdle for new divorcees is adapting to an unfamiliar lifestyle. Spouses must manage new bank accounts, cope with living on a single income, and deal with the often painful reality of losing a marriage. This article will discuss a few coping strategies for new divorcees.
Adjusting to a New Financial Life
According to Fox Business, financial considerations should be a top priority for divorced and divorcing spouses. For some, getting used to living on one source of income can be challenging—especially if one has to provide for children or elderly family members.
Establishing Non-Parent Guardianship of a Child
With so many complex laws, financial burdens, and emotional hurdles, divorce is never an easy process. While it may be hard enough when two people end their marriage, the breakup of a family with children can be even more arduous. In particular,'child custody and child support agreements involve a number of intricate laws. What happens, however, when neither parent can provide for the child?
Every divorce case is unique; therefore, it is helpful to seek the advice and help of a legal professional. Family members may seek guardianship or custody'of a child because they feel neither biological parent can look after the child's best interests. In these cases, a qualified attorney can explain how a family member may be able to legally pursue guardianship or custody.
The Illinois court system determines custody and guardianship based on the children's best interests. Most cases result in at least one biological parent retaining custody of the children, and often, both parents will share custody. If neither parent is willing or able to properly care for children, another family member or friend may file for guardianship of the children. Under Illinois law, filing for guardianship is much easier and available in more situations than filing for custody.
Divorced Parents Can Help Transition between Two Homes for Children
When parents decide to divorce, how they handle it and the family changes, including custody and visitation arrangements,'that follow can strongly impact how well a child adjusts to those changes. Will the child still feel secure despite those changes or will they feel as if their whole world is falling apart?
One of the areas which can be the hardest for children of divorce is that they now have two places to call home. Two houses, two beds, two set of rules, two toy boxes, etc. Often, along with these 'two' of everything, comes a change in routine. Their time may be equally divided between Mom and Dad's homes now, or they may have certain nights and every other weekend with one parent, depending on what type of child custody agreement parents work out.
In order to best help a child with this transition, parenting experts suggest taking an active approach to the new situation. While the specifics of every case are unique, there are certain steps the parent who is establishing a new home can take to make his or her child more comfortable in two homes.
Communication is Key to Coparenting
If you have children, the relationship between you and your spouse does not end with divorce. Regardless of custody or visitation arrangements, children deserve the love, support, and presence of both parents in their lives. A divorce does not alter the reality that the responsibility of meeting your child's needs belong to both you and your ex. Difficult though it may be, you and your child's other parent will need to maintain, at minimum, a cooperative coexistence in order to provide appropriate parental relationships that will benefit your child throughout his or her life.
Advice for divorced parents is everywhere, usually focused on things you must absolutely NEVER do. Unfortunately, lists of maxims are typically oversimplified, and often, many of these 'self-help' articles lack constructive alternatives to the actions they decry. The challenge, obviously, is that no two post-divorce family situations are identical. Each case carries a unique set of circumstances and factors which must be considered when discussing coparenting details.
Marital Health: Warning Signs May Be Evident in the Bedroom
More than 4 million Americans enter into marriage every year, of which, virtually all do so with the hope and expectation of building a life with a partner they love and trust. It is an unfortunate reality that half of those marriages or more fail to live up to that expectation, ending in separation and divorce. Many divorcing couples, however, are surprised to realize in hindsight that their romantic relationship may have revealed clues that their marriage was actually in trouble.
While not necessarily true in other cultures throughout the world, Western culture places a large degree of importance on sexual attraction between partners in a marriage. Author, psychologist and television personality, Dr. Phil McGraw maintains 'the belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. [Sex] allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners. 'A healthy sexual relationship with your spouse bodes very well for the overall health of the marriage.
Advocates for Children: Guardian ad Litem and Child Representative
Separation and divorce are difficult in the best of situations. Unresolved issues, whether legal or emotional, can place a great deal of stress on both spouses and often lead to contentiousness and hostility. For a couple with children, these feelings can, unfortunately, spill over into proceedings related to the children's welfare such as child custody or child support hearings.
Too often, parents are tempted to use children as leverage in an effort to benefit from the proceedings. In such cases, the well-being of the children can seem to be ignored by either parent determined not to let the other side 'win. To prevent the children from becoming a secondary concern, Illinois law permits the presiding judge in any child-related proceeding to appoint an attorney to look after the best interests of the child.
What You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce
Illinois is one of many states that allow a couple to dissolve their marriage without either party being considered at fault. Of course, there are many situations in which a couple may divorce on fault grounds, but a large number of couples find themselves in a broken marriage without meeting any of the criteria necessary for an at fault divorce.
The advent of no-fault divorce in the United States began to take shape in the 1960s and 70s. At the time, a person wishing to get divorced was required to prove that something harmful was occurring in the marriage, such as infidelity, cruelty, or abuse. In cases where such things were occurring, they could be difficult to prove. In cases where such things were not occurring, it was common for individuals to lie and commit perjury to facilitate the divorce. Divorce courts and attorneys were seen to be complicit with such behavior and, therefore, drew a level of disdain from the rest of the legal community.
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