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Five Ways You Can Help Your Divorce Attorney
You hire an attorney during your divorce in order to handle much of the busy work that comes with the process. An experienced divorce attorney can complete the work in a quicker and more comprehensive manner than you could on your own. However, your attorney still benefits from your help and cooperation during the process. Clients and attorneys are most successful in their divorce cases when they are able to work together. Here are five ways that you can help your divorce attorney obtain the best result for you:
- Have a Clear Goal: From the first meeting, you should have a basic idea of what you need from your divorce agreement. Most clients want financial stability and parenting time with their children. However, it helps to determine what your specific priorities are in the divorce so you can focus on those issues. Which properties are most important for you to keep? Are there properties you are willing to give up in exchange? Do you want a majority of the parenting time? These are just a couple of the questions you need to answer before starting negotiations.
Considering Alternative Formats for Parenting Time
Illinois replaced the term “child custody” with “allocation of parental responsibilities” because parenting after a divorce involves more than who has custody of the children. Each parent has a role in raising and making decisions for their children. Parents must form a parenting plan that defines their individual responsibilities to their children. The parenting schedule is only one part of the plan, but it is probably the most important part. Nothing replaces the value of time spent with a child. Most parents use a traditional schedule that splits parenting time between weekdays and weekends. This is often the most practical and least disruptive schedule for both parents and children. With the more flexible definition of the allocation of parental responsibilities, some parents have created alternative schedules that work best for them. While these alternatives may not be your best options, it is worth knowing that these options exist.
Budgeting Changes After Your Divorce
Personal finances after divorce can be a difficult adjustment, especially if you are unfamiliar with handling your own finances. You are individually responsible for budgeting your finances and planning for the future. Making financial decisions as an individual requires different considerations than when you are married. Your divorce settlement can set you up for financial stability after divorce, but you will also need to make several adjustments that reflect your individual status.
Budgeting
Your living expenses will change after your divorce because your individual income must pay for costs that you once shared with your spouse. You may also have new expenses, such as if you are responsible for paying spousal maintenance. Even if you receive monthly maintenance payments, your budget will likely be tighter than when you were married. You may need to reconsider how you budget your expenses, such as whether you:
A Father's Role After Divorce
Between the two parents, a father is generally in greater danger of seeing his relationship with his children diminish after a divorce. Mothers more often receive a majority of the parenting time during the allocation of parental responsibilities. Because mothers are more likely to be the caretakers during the marriage, courts often choose the mother as the primary parent. However, children’s relationships with their fathers are also important in their happiness and development. Fathers who see their children less often after a divorce must work to remain an active part of their lives:
- Advocating for Parenting Time: A father has an equal right to be the primary parent of his children after a divorce if he can prove that living with him is in their best interest. If a court grants the mother primary responsibility over the children, the father can still fight for a greater share of parenting time. A 60-40 division of parenting time would give him an additional day each week with his children as opposed to a 70-30 division.
Seeking a Mental Health Evaluation of Your Spouse
Questioning the mental health of your spouse is a serious accusation to make during your divorce. Mental fitness can help determine the allocation of parental responsibilities because a person with a mental illness may be erratic, irresponsible or abusive. Your spouse is certain to react negatively to a claim that he or she is not fit to care for your children. However, you need to pursue the issue if you believe your spouse’s mental state is a danger to your children. Illinois law gives the court discretion over whether a party in a divorce needs to receive a mental health evaluation.
Requesting an Evaluation
A court may on its own order your spouse to undergo a psychological evaluation, but it is more likely that you will need to request it. Illinois Supreme Court Rule 215 explains the process, which includes:
- Filing a motion to order a mental health evaluation of a party in the case; and
Proving That Your Former Spouse Violated Your Divorce Order
A well-crafted divorce settlement gets its teeth from your ability to enforce it. Even after all the hours of negotiation, your former spouse may decide he or she no longer agrees with the terms of the settlement. Instead of just asking you to renegotiate, he or she may refuse to complying with the agreed-upon divorce terms, such as:
- The allocation of parental responsibilities;
- Child support;
- Spousal maintenance; and
- Marital properties he or she must surrender.
A divorce agreement is a court order, and violating it may result in civil and criminal penalties. If your former spouse refuses to obey your divorce order, you can take him or her to court by filing a Petition for Rule to Show Cause. However, you must show that your spouse is willfully in contempt of the order. You can help your case by preparing supporting evidence for both your petition and your hearing.
Preparing for Financial Negotiations During Your Divorce
Though divorce is often an emotional decision, financial considerations become equally important during the divorce process. Both sides need the settlement to establish their financial independence and security. A favorable divorce settlement can grant you valuable assets from your marriage and long-term relief in the form of spousal support. Before the financial negotiations start, there are actions you can take to prepare and protect yourself.
Separating Money
It is common for spouses to combine their incomes in a joint bank account. You will still have access to that account during your divorce, but your future income should go into a bank account that is solely in your name. There are several advantages to this:
- The money you deposit in a joint bank account is marital property, which is subject to division during the divorce;
Types of Orders of Protection and How to Modify Them
Obtaining an order of protection is one of the most helpful actions that Illinois victims of domestic violence can take. An order of protection legally prohibits your abuser from having contact with you and other victims. Forms of domestic violence include:
- Physical abuse;
- Harassment;
- Intimidation; and
- Obstruction of personal liberties.
A domestic violence incident may be an emergency for the victim, but obtaining and keeping an order of protection requires following a legal process. The steps are meant to provide immediate and lasting protection for domestic violence victims, while also protecting the accused from false or unfair claims.
Types of Orders
An order of protection determines who the offender may have contact with and may require that support payments be made to the victim. However, a court will not impose any long-term conditions on the accused until it rules on the case in a hearing. At the same time, the law recognizes that victims need immediate relief from their suspected abusers. There are three types of orders of protection that are used at different stages of the legal process:
Forgiveness Heals After Your Divorce
Before your divorce has even finished, you may feel anxious to move forward with your life. The end of your marriage was painful, but your life as a newly single person fills you with optimism. However, the anger and hurt from your marriage can linger long after your divorce. You can try to forget your resentment, but that is not the same as moving past it. Divorce therapists believe forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing tools for divorcees. Before starting a new relationship, you may need to forgive your former spouse for the end of your previous relationship.
Reasons for Resentment
You are unlikely to reach the point of forgiveness without first recognizing your resentment. You may have a valid reason to be angry at your former spouse if he or she was involved in:
- Infidelity;
- Physical or verbal abuse;
- Criminal activity; or
Challenging Paternity Fraud in Court
When a child is born out of wedlock, establishing legal paternity is consequential for the father, mother and child. The legal father may need to provide child support payments to the mother but also has the right to request some allocation of parental responsibilities. Because DNA testing is not required to establish paternity, some men discover they are not the biological father of the children they are legally responsible for. The false paternity may have been an honest mistake by both legal parents, but mothers may also mislead men into believing they are fathers. Paternity fraud can be devastating because the man:
- Has been providing monthly child support payments; and
- May have developed a paternal relationship with the child.
Men in Illinois can challenge their legal paternity based on fraud but must meet a two-year deadline and provide convincing evidence.
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